I've been thinking about the kid thing some more. And for myself I could definitely handle raising the kid as my own and loving him or her as one of my own. I would not resent my W's kid via OM.
Now I would prefer if the OM wasn't involved or involved very much. Either he gives up his parental rights or only sees the kid once every other weekend or something like that.
I don't think I can handle it if he becomes an active joint parent with my W and is making daily and weekly decisions and communicating with her often.
I still haven't decided if W is someone I want to continue our relationship with. Right now I'm leaning towards no as while she has said she's sorry she hasn't given me the feeling that she wants to change and to be with me at this point. She seems undecided, which I suppose getting dumped right after getting pregnant would make sense. But if she has no desire to be with me then I would rather pull the plug at this point and move on, before I get involved with her new child.
So is it ok if I communicate my above thoughts about her kid, while still telling her I'll need more time to decide about us?
