Well I started the new thread this morning because I knew this would draw a lot of comments.
Five of you came back in no time and said "Stop the insanity."
Thank you, everyone. I need this to stay upright.

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Your posts above use the phrase "without judgment" several times, and yet it is judgment that is just OOOOOZING from every pore of those two posts.
Yep. I definitely have an ingrained sense of what I believe to be right/wrong and it shows. Gotta work on that one for sure. Don't mind you pointing it out.

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You're looking at this all wrong, Zew. It's not your job to make her "face consequences." That's for the Big Guy upstairs.
Yep, I know it's not my job to punish. Was looking for anything that might make her realize a loss, short of D.

Your "credible threat" rings true.
W gets very concerned when she sees me happy, especially after coming home from a night of GALing. Actually heard her say once "He's happy, and that scares me." Looks like GALing works for both me and W, then.

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figure out what your non-negotiable core boundaries are, communicate them, and then leave her be.
Like, sharing you with another man doesn't work for me?

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Dude, why the focus on the bed? I mean, I know why but she's messing with every aspect of the marriage, not just the bed part. The focus on the bed made me feel weird when I read it. JMO.
It's nothing about the bed per se. Again, just looking for anything that she might feel a sense of loss over, and bed is something I could assert territory over. Remember, she lives at home as if everything is normal. She denies A, and therefore A does not exist.

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I really don't think there is ANYTHING you can SAY that will change the WAS's mind.

There was a quote I heard recently that goes something like "you can't talk yourself out of a situation you behaved yourself into". Your consistent actions will speak much louder than any words you can say or write.
True, true and true. The intent was not to convince her with words, but that the loss of the bed might mean something. The words just establish the way back. Bad idea. Got it.

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was being warned that I was coming across as "holier-than-thou" when I thought all I was doing was standing up for fidelity in my marriage
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"Hey, I've been faithful, but SHE HASN'T!"
Yes, point taken.
Funny isn't it, especially since I very early came to the conclusion that it wasn't a deal breaker.
I can't be judgmental there, it's now part of the fabric of my M forever. I also know that W will resist MC if she has to admit A. I have to wrap my head around the fact that she may never be willing to talk about or admit A, even though we both know that we both know. So I'd better get off that horse now. My we make life complicated.

Again, I want to thank you all for your prompt and excellent support. I truly appreciate it.