I'm glad that all our questions got you to think things through. That was the whole point of the exercise. As long as you have clarity and intent, forge ahead, friend.
For the record, Mr. Wonderful has already apologized long ago, and I've forgiven him. It's all good. But every once in awhile, it's good to make sure that our intent is to stay friends. I can't speak for him, but it does make me feel better.
For the record, I've had a difficult time being the one to go first. It's something I'm trying to do better as I go. When I was in my 20s, my BFF and I had a falling out (neither one of us can remember what that was about now, go figure). We had been bosom buddies from the time we were 12 until then, and our rift caused so much pain for our families. In January 1988, a mutual friend of ours got married, and we avoided each other like the plague. Her dad dragged her over to me and said, "Betsey, I'd like to introduce you to my daughter, J. J, please meet my friend, Betsey. I think you have a lot in common and you might want to get to know one another." Ugh. We danced around and exchanged pleasantries and left without talking. I moved to CA in March. The night before I moved, the phone rang and it was J. She was bawling and I was too. She told me through choked tears, "You were the best friend I ever had, and I don't want you to move without telling you that." We erased the slate from that point forward. She was my maid of honor and is also D20's godmother, and I talk to her 3-5X per week.
I tell you this because SHE cleaned the slate, but I knew our rift was my doing. AND our reconnection was HER doing. The following year, I made her a photo album of all the things we shared and sent her a heartfelt letter telling her how much it meant to me that she was the one with balls and a forgiving heart, and that I'd always love her. Every once in awhile, I have to tell her out loud again - just to make sure that she knows she's been the best friend I ever had. Ya know? There is something so uniquely human to be shown mercy, so I get this, Wonka. I really do.
For whatever reason, I've been having really intimate discussions with people lately. Is there something in the water????
Go forth and be merciful and ask for mercy in return. It's a good thing!
Bets
p.s. This weekend is the I Can Do It! workshop here. I thank YOU a thousand times over for passing that info along! It's my early birthday present to me, and I hope I walk out Sunday night feeling energized to start 52 off with a bang. xxxooo
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
