H asked me about an hour after he left today if I needed all the things out of his garage for a specific purpose. I told him no. That it is just difficult and confusing for all of us to see him pop by every day. He says he understands and will work to get it all wrapped up in one day soon. I probably should have said something more profound. But I couldn't think of anything.
I think, in an A sitch, boundaries are warranted and not validation. I really don't know what other boundaries I can enforce besides:
1. You can't have OW *and* me. 2. If we are separated, we need to be separated. We need to set our schedule for visitation with the kids ... and stick to it. Period. Otherwise, we are separate from one another.
This is in the best interest of my PMA. And hopefully it causes the demise - sooner than later - of the A. Only at that point will H be willing to talk with me about what happened in our M. And THAT is when I can validate.
Does that sound about right?
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
