We're getting a D in slow motion. My H gave me a separation agreement and I didn't sign it or do anything with it since Nov 2012. I'm now plugging in the new numbers to try to figure out what to ask for in a counter proposal, but it's like standing in the ocean getting knocked down by waves, I get my feet under me and feel good about working on it and then I'm drowning again. Fortunately or not, he's not bugging me about it.
I'll probably be the one to file for divorce, because I'm ready to put this all behind me and move on. We haven't been effectively married for years - he withdrew from me prior to 2011, moved out in 2012, there's been not one tiny bit of interest in staying together on his part, so now it's just money and paperwork. I'm ok with moving forward, although I'm sad and sometimes resentful about who he turned out to be.
H feels welcome to come when he pleases, and for the good of the kids I support that. He only pleases to come about every 3 or 4 weeks. He gives little notice, and the boys are busy with their teenage stuff so they ignore him. It's not ideal, but I've been told, and feel it makes sense, that he and they need to figure out how to have a relationship without my opinions.
I guess putting the mail outside seems needlessly antagonistic to me. We have a mailbox on the front porch that we used to use for scout stuff when I was a scout leader, that I could put his stuff in. In all likelihood, he'd get it and come in anyway to play with the dogs because he knows the key-code. I don't really want to make it more painful for him to come around here, because I think seeing that he's still alive is good for the boys.
I just think an adult male should have an address.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
