Just wanted to follow up on the "Sexual Fluidity" comment in the other thread.
The gist of the book is that women more so than men are situational in their attractions. The book is based on a 20 year study of self identified lesbians or bisexual or unlabeled women. Many (most?) switched back and forth between attraction to women and men, primarily based on emotional bonding and opportunity.
So while it is possible that your wife has "always" been a "Lesbian", it is equally possible that the other woman now meets a particular emotional need and that the DB techniques could make a difference to her.
Even if none of this will make a difference in your current situation, it may help you come to terms and understand and have empathy with her and your role in the relationship.
