Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[dingo]

So I just wanted to post a quick update. Its been a few weeks since my last post and really nothing much has changed. My W and I had a few weeks of somewhat regular contact. We texted or spoke most every day and hung out once or twice a week. Usually this involved her coming over to the house to watch TV shows and have dinner. Eventually I started to feel like I was the one that really wanted to get together and she was just going through the motions.

She left town to visit her Dad for a long weekend and our contact was pretty similar - spotty, initiated by me more than not, etc. I really started to feel like I deserved better and ended up sending her an email similar to one that has been a hot topic on these boards over the last few days. Basically saying what I wanted and needed and that I didn't want to feel like i was going through the motions or had to walk on eggshells every time I thought about contacting her or asking her to do something.

To make a long story short, her response was that she decided she wasn't willing to give up the OM, had been in contact with him while she was out of town, doesn't need a break from us (that just shows her that she can be ok without me - doesn't make her miss me, etc etc etc.

I was pretty at peace with that. Told her to do what she needed to do and hung up the phone. I believe that she will contact her lawyer in the next couple of days to get proceedings restarted and if she doesn't I think that I likely will. I feel at peace with this decision as well. I will miss some of the great moments we had but I think the last year has finally caught up with me. I was under the impression that we were a good 2+ months into no contact and I don't think I am willing to give that another reset.