She left - 2

[Barrybran]

Don't stop doing honourable things because of how it affects your wife. How she interprets things is her problem. If you do things to intentionally manipulate her behaviour positively or negatively, it will backfire big time, but if, in the case of your niece's card, you do something selfless with thought only for the recipient, you can be proud of what you've done and your wife will have to deal with her own feelings.

In saying that, validate her at every opportunity, apologise where required and think about how she may react before you do something. As long as your intentions are pure, don't be afraid to do something good for another person just because your wife may have a problem with it.