Thanks 25. I really feel bad today, like just giving up. I totally messed up yesterday, I completely lost it at him. I was politely trying to ask him about the car the day before. I needed it for one of our children, and he just ignored me. He sat there and just straight up lied to my face. He put himself before the health and needs of our children. I guess I saw red. I said all the things I've held in the past little while. Told him about the stark financial reality the children and I will face. As usual he said nothing, at first. Then he says he didn't know why he is doing this, he doesn't know why he feels this way. But his life isn't exactly going to be great now either. Uh hello - your choices????!!!!! I got more of the 'get a full time job - give up your career (because it's shift work) and get a normal job' And then he threatened me with a restraining order. When I says what are you talking about, he said I know you've seen my emails on the computer, and you are so pathetic falling for a fake restaurant booking. I was astounded. Yeah I m not proud of leaving his email logged on. Or going past that restaurant. But he set me up? Why? To make me out to be a crazy woman? To take my kids away? He hasn't made any efforts regarding them in the past 3 months. He is do full of hate and anger. It's just so much to take. Why does he want to destroy me ? It really feels like that is what he wants.
I know it was a massive backslide. I know that. And I will start again today. I'm just not sure if I want to anymore.
