She left - 2

[gogofo]

When the W and I have conversations and she brings up issues we had I have been validating with phrases like "I understand how you would feel that way".

Sometimes things she brings up raise emotion in me and I have been doing well at only validating her feelings. But sometimes I think I might do better if I validate and then express my point of view about what she said.

For example she keeps bringing up that she never would have left if I had tried or given just an inch. I know this is how she feels but is not what happened. I tried a lot and have examples I would like to point out. I sometimes think a truth bomb is what she needs so she might start to look at things a little differently.

What I don't want to do is make it seem like I am arguing or invalidating her feelings, but I think this is how she would take it. It is difficult to listen to her feelings about things that she has changed the history on.

I just don't know if this is something that I should do or if I am better just listening and validating still. I know if we were in MC she would be prompted to consider my side, but I don't know if I am the one to prompt her.