Of course, it really isn't a strategy, is it. I have to file with full intent of following through, with a small chance of upside. And would I want W back under duress of filing? Can't ever see restoring trust there.
You are absolutely correct here. This can't be some gambit; you have to really be DONE with the marriage. I was when I filed, and ultimately it helped (combined with other factors, such as my own improvements and her ending her affair) to jolt my wife back toward our marriage, but that WAS not why I did it, nor COULD it be. My family was way too important to me for me to use them as chess pieces, and I can tell that yours is to you, too.
