Husband's porn addiction and my affaire

[jp787]

I have a very heightened awareness that my current state of mind and situation is dangerous and toxic for my health and happiness.

Good job!

However, I don't know if I can get my H to change and develop empathy. I have been researching to learn if lack-of-empathy is a genetically inherited personality trait or whether it's a learned attribute. If its genetically inherited, then I may be fighting a losing battle because it will be impossible to change my H. However, if it is a learned trait, then I'll have to work on making him unlearn this thoughtless mindset. What's your opinion?

I think you need to look inward as you are the only person you can fix or control.

FYI,I have a lack of empathy and am selfish. Neither are something I was born with or passed down to me, they are learned.
IMO I am that way because of a lack of self-worth, lack of self-esteem, and fear.
I realize I am this way, I am aware of it. I am also trying to change these qualities with-in myself and it is very difficult after living this way for so long. That said I do believe that one can change, yet that person needs to be self-aware that they are like that and want that change and then it isn’t easy.

You can only control you, easy to understand, yet very hard to live.