Dude, that email was rough....lots of control, blame, discounting of her feelings, and just plain insulting.
I get that you're pissed...and maybe reasonably so (and I say maybe because I'm not sure we're getting all of the story here). But do you think this got you closer to your goal or put you further away? Do you think she's just going to read this and go "you know, dj is right...that was inconsiderate, and I need to get my crap together"? Or do you think it'll be more along the lines of "yep...still the same asshat"?
I do agree with Starsky that there's nothing wrong with conveying your needs in the relationship, and it sounds like you guys are long overdue in having that discussion....but I think HOW you do it is important too.
