I'd tell her beforehand, I'd imagine if she finds out you haven't told her where they'll be staying there will be a bigger risk of her being upset & threatening your contact? Don't live your life in fear of what she might do, do what you feel is right and that is to tell her beforehand.
It must be so tough knowing she could just stop you seeing them - it's interesting hearing how different the laws are there & how the courts favour 50/50 care, very different here
I'm going to tell my W my plans beforehand, likely in a message tomorrow at some point. She may just refuse but the bottom line is there is nowhere to stay in her town. If I'd booked the room much earlier it wouldn't have been an issue but the cost is going to be an issue anyway.
I'm going to draft up another message and get some feedback before I send it off.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
W, I will be bringing the kids home on Friday night and they will be staying until Monday afternoon. D6 will be missing school Monday, I have already informed her teacher and will be getting her school work for that day when I pick her up on Friday afternoon.
There are no rooms available through TravelRewardsCo and the cost to book the room without the travel points is too expensive.
You can call the kids while they are on the drive home if you like. You are also welcome to call the kids at any time when they are with me. I am planning on having my family over to see the kids on the weekend as well as doing some things with them in the city.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
My two cents: take the kids home and stick to the schedule. If you want the extra day ask your wife if she'd mind having D6 out of school for the day. If she says no, listen. Now, if she objects to you taking the kids home, politely but firmly reiterate that no accommodation is available and that you will have them back with your wife at the usual (or agreed, if she doesn't mind the extra day) time.
If they refuse to let you see the kids you're off to the lawyers on Monday.
AND DON'T TALK ABOUT THE PARENTING PLAN IN PERSON! Leave it as an email communication for now. It gives you time to think, an opportunity to bring things here or to your lawyers, there's less chance of emotion getting in the way and saying something stupid and you have written evidence of what has been said. DON'T MENTION IT AND DON'T GET DRAWN INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
I spent some time yesterday reading Canadian family law. While I am not a lawyer, i want to suggest you spend some time becoming familiar with Section 283, as it could be applied to your situation.
Even without a custody arrangment, canada does have such a thing as parental kidnapping. It is very possible this could be applied to her for moving the kids, but more importantly, to you if you take them back to your province.
Right now, based on what you have written about her responses to your request for custody, the phone calls, and her reaction to you taking them in the past....I would be very careful if i were you.
Personally, i dont believe she is considering your request as much as i believe she is trying to find a way to get the money she seems to want. It feels like a stall tactic to me.
Please understand, around here, kids are the touchy subject. And parenting is more important than ANY marriage. Being a parent and being a spouse are considered two very different things.
Gonna need some help from others...cuz i dont remember the full posting name, but a former poster named Bradley, comes to mind that i think would be beneficial for you to read. Someone will link it.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Well, a couple of things have happened since last night that have made me change my mind. I'm going to be going over to my W's home town and staying there with the kids from Friday until Monday. I checked this morning and a room was available so I took it.
We had a pretty nasty snow storm hit here and we're apparently going to have snow right through the weekend. The roads are bad and aren't likely to be great when I would be driving the kids home on Friday so it's not a good idea to drive with the kids for 4 hours in that weather/road conditions.
Besides that, I won't go into all the details, I had a major feeling last night that bringing the kids home right now would be a bad thing to do. I don't know what may be coming in the near future with my W's decision on 50/50 but I feel like staying in her town with the kids this time is the best way to go.
In the next month the weather will be much better, I will be out of travel points so I won't be able to afford the hotels so at that point I can see bringing the kids home regularly. It's also possible we may have an agreement on 50/50 by then as well.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
Cat, thanks for the info. I'd gone over the whole "kidnapping" bit with a few lawyers and I'm ok as far as bringing the kids home with me if I chose to do that, from a legal standpoint anyway.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
We had a pretty nasty snow storm hit here and we're apparently going to have snow right through the weekend. The roads are bad and aren't likely to be great when I would be driving the kids home on Friday so it's not a good idea to drive with the kids for 4 hours in that weather/road conditions.
Isnt the universe amazing?? No matter what we plan the universe says the last word always
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Now that I've decided I'm going to stay in my W's town for the weekend I'll need to let her know I'm keeping the kids until Monday later in the afternoon. It will be a bit hard on my D6 going to school Monday knowing I'll still be in town but I'd thought I could possibly pick her up from school and have supper with all of them before I drop them off.
I think I should let my W know my plans today or tomorrow.
Maybe something like "W, I will be staying in town until Monday afternoon.
I will pick D6 up from school on Friday and will also take her to school Monday morning. I will also pick D6 up from school Monday and will take all of them to dinner before I drop them off with you.
S2 and D4 will be staying with me for the day. I will let D4's school know she will not be in on Monday."
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
