Who said you had to hire a lawyer instead of going to mediation?
A lawyer would be there for you to consult and to get information from BEFORE you go to mediation. If, you have no idea what you are legally entitled to, how will you know what is fair. The mediator's job is not to be fair, it is to get a deal done.
Why would your XBF even have to know you consulted with a lawyer?
Anyway, I have started to repeat myself from previous posts which is not a productive use of time. I do wish you luck Magic.
