W said its over - Said I can't change her mind

[Duds3]

Struggling with the detachment part side of things. I have not seen my W in over a month and we have NC. Why is it so hard for me to stop wondering what she is doing? I am not afraid to say I miss her dearly. I like the some of you cant get the knot in my stomach to go away.

I have my first coaching session today. Any suggestions as how to approach the session and get the most out of it?

Over the weekend I had a conversation with one of my friends wife about my situation. Her questions were why did she file so fast? She made mention of her changing her name three days after she moved out the first time. It gave me some new perspective on the situation. Even she said, "it has only been two months, she has not had time to miss you." She said she that may not be the case but it could happen. She stated, "unless she is cold and heartless, something at some point will remind her of you and your relationship and how she handles that could determine a lot. She understood my W throwing old pictures, cards and notes away. She said she used to call them burning parties. She mentioned that is what girls do to justify in their minds what they are doing. I told her the scary part for me is my W is so bull headed and stubborn and has always said when she is done with something she is done. My W's friend has even made mention of her being done with something, she is done. The fact my W told me she was miserable and so over our R does not sit well with me. How my friend was talking was from a married 30 year old female perspective. She gave me exactly what a female looks for, strong, confident, and happy. To not do anything to cause resentment. That in our case D is a piece of paper, that our sitch is different then most in the D is uncontested, we have no kids and nothing to split. As she said this is more like your breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend but obviously its a marriage and on a non comparable level.

And of course I have crazy thoughts run thru my head. Why did she change her name back so fast on FB and her work profile? Did she freak out when she couldn't get pregnant? Does the thought of me being 32 and her 26 scare her now? She says she wants to hang out with her friends and family. W is an outgoing person but her friends have established families besides a couple. It almost feels like to me the W is acting like we were married when she was 18 and she didn't get to experience her "college years." I have made my mistakes in the M and I take full responsibility for my 50%. The more I analysis the sitch we had a bad two months, even my W told my sister that back in early January. I think this really comes down to my W wanting to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. She wants to be able to come as she pleases and have no guilt what-so-ever.

I understand our friendship needs to be re-kindled because we were best friends. But my issue remains, how does one get the attention of their W when you have NC and never see each other?

Thanks for the help from all you guys.

If only I could detach myself from the sitch.