In my sitch she is not even doubting...100% convinced of Divorce so I guess I was never that important in her life...
Working toward a Divorce is her choice.
It has consistently been her choice since she told you....
And it will continue to be her choice...until it isn't her choice anymore...
Fighting against it, will only show her that you have zero respect for her decisions, and will INvalidate her feelings...
So just relax, don't try to control her feelings, and act, instead of REacting to her...
Originally Posted By: ye21
Still I will validate whatever she say and listen and if thats what will make her happy and even more of my pain will give her more happiness I guess I am willing to take that pain so she can be happy again...I just dont know what I did so wrong, why loving her wasn't enough, I am feeling so low self stem tonight...
So let's try something different....
I once read about something called a 180(?) in a Divorce Busting book....
Go into today being happy, PMA at a maximum level, and act "as if" everything in the world is okay, and is going to be okay...(because it really is)
Fake it till you make it...
Stop trying to be the Martyr (by taking? her pain?), and realize that what she says, is her version of the truth.
You have your version of the truth, and where the two different versions meet, is probably where the real truth lies....
Listen to what she says, apologize for the things that "sting" that back of your neck, try to understand the things that don't sting...
Go in with your best self, be different, smell different, act different, dress different, and watch the dynamic change....
Listen more than you talk, keep the conversation on point, and walk away about 5 minutes before you are ready to...
Don't linger, and don't get all teary eyed when you leave...
Act as if you are 10 minutes late for something that you love when you leave....
