25yearmlc, I read your post ten times. First her son, I met this boy when he was 8 years old. remembered hanging out with him in his room watching this kid whaleon guitar hero, he fantastic. I even told him. He wasn't a very talkative kid, to this day he still isn't. As our relationship progressed I noticed this boy was running the house, he was still sleeping in his mothers bed, watching t.v. till 10:30-11:30 on school nigts, seperate meals and and W doing his homework.
If I would spend the night he would bang on tedoor because he wasn't in his mons bed etc.. We eventually broke him of sleeping in her bed. My wback then said was the first man who showed any concern for him. As our relationship progressed he seem to distant himself, because he wasnt getting his way, when he would go to his fathers house he would come back really moody and we would have to adjust back to our home. He would play grand theft auto and all these killing games at 8years old at his dads. This boys only passion was video games. I would take him outside for biking, playing catch and I even would do squirt gun fights with them, being my Daughter. All this stuff was short lived andhe didn'twantto do anything, except video games, I even played video games withhim. I an only play for so long, He would play from time he gets up until he goes to bed. I addressed these concerns with W and she would enforce the rules for a little bit and give up, I backed her up and enforced them. My wife was affraid he would wat to live with his dad and she would lose him. I tried a million things to connect with him, he just didn't want to. He respects me an if I ask him to do something he does it and sometimes he test he's 14 so I know that will come.
I can tell you he has been manipulating his mother for a long time. He still does and she says she knows it but her she is spending hours getting im ready for school, going over homework, organizing his planner, while he sits there playing on his i-phone as W gets stressed out. She threatens him to take it away but never does. When I say something about this, she says he needs help he has ADHD, he is on meds for it.
I love this kid, even went to counseling so we could find out what is going on. W stopped the counseling b/c she thought counselor was to mean with him, she just didn't tolerate his behavior and new he was manipulating. I find out by W he isalot like his father very moody etc..which is fine. I actually stopped any discipline because W wanted me to. Now all I do is hey buddy you might want to listen to your Mom after she called him 5 times to come to her.
Step son did tell me he wants his mother all to himself. were there times I got frustrated absoultely, just like I get frustrated with my daughter at times. Did I handle things always right not at all, parenting you learn as you go.
I have racked my brain on trying to have a relationship with him. I even try to just chat with him on what he likes, and he just never opens up. I believe he may feel he is betraying his father if he has a friendship with me. I have read articles that it can take as long as 20 years for a step child to finally except you.
W has told me that this is a major issue and I have ben trying to figure this one out. He is the first kid who has put up a wall with me, I usually attract kids with my sill behavior. I'm going to be silly again and see if that works.
