Well today I am meeting my W, I read a bunch of sitchs and everybody at least has the chance to talk or know why the R ended and whatever... Me? Well unfortunatelly I didnt have that chance and my head today has been acting out... I have been scared...anxious later...scared again and when I got home I started to check her call log and saw that she is been talking today to lawyers..... In my sitch she is not even doubting...100% convinced of Divorce so I guess I was never that important in her life...
Even if everything seems so black and out of hope I am decided to take a different approach, I will meet her today at 4pm in person and listen to her, validate and pure active listening, I feel at this point even that its not gonna work....I married and actress and it looks like she was acting for 4 years and a half....either that or how my sponsor said today she is really in her disease...dont know about that...in her facebook pics she looks happy as well as all the comments she did when she left.... Divorced thank God! I wish I never meet him Walking around at night and I dont wonder myself anymoer what could it be, I am so happy and free for the first time in a long time...
So I guess I was the biggest mistake in her life and probably she is really enjoying the pain she has caused me....I probably deserve it...I complained too much to her that she never wanted to hear my feelings...lied to her about bein a pro cyclist when I was 15 years old and basically wishing to have kids and buy a house... I feel terribly guilty for wanted those things and also a baby... Still I will validate whatever she say and listen and if thats what will make her happy and even more of my pain will give her more happiness I guess I am willing to take that pain so she can be happy again...I just dont know what I did so wrong, why loving her wasn't enough, I am feeling so low self stem tonight...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
