He worked 5 days and nights a week, and on Saturdays, when he didn't have to. For our finances, he could have worked half that time in the evenings. His time at his 2nd job - at least most of it - was all about his ego. And, beyond finances, he didn't think of me/us. He inconsiderately stuck me at home with the kids during "second shift" - after I had already been with them ALL day ... and even slept in the same room with them at night - while he worked and, often, spent hours drinking beer in the shop with his "partner," without making a dime.
In other words, I'm spinning my wheels, trying to figure out how *I* contributed to the breakdown of our M. And all the while, he's blaming me, too. It alllllll becomes about ME and MY inadequacies. And I'm SICK of it.
He supposedly worked so much that he didn't have time for me. Any time he was home, he was either playing with the kids or asleep. He even slept at home during his lunch break. I thought it was because he was working all the time, so I accommodated that. I didn't bother him while he slept. I rarely complained because of my stupid compassion.
In the aftermath, I discovered he slept all the time because he was up all night, texting OW.
So maybe that accounts a little for my feelings of independence and strength, too.
Big problems are on the table. But mostly, that's because of him.
(Another) Vent over.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
