Need help saving my family - part 8

[Scorp7]

I had looked at bringing the kids home as a way of standing up for my rights as their father.

I have the right to decide where we spend our time together, what we do etc.

I also have the right to take my D6 out of school for a day if it makes sense to do so. I would of course make sure she had any school work for that day so that we could work on it together over the weekend.

I have been using travel points to pay for the hotel rooms up to now but they are almost gone. Once they are totally gone I will be paying for all expenses out of pocket and I just can't afford that right now.

With the cost of hotel, fuel, food, etc, each weekend costs $600 or more (the last weekend with the Monday included and the trip to do the fun things in the city cost $900+). If the kids come home my only costs would be fuel and food at home which likely would be maybe $250. They would sleep in their own beds, play with their toys, have home cooked meals and see my family.

[Drew]

Um, you're pretty much preaching to the choir here, Scorp.

[Scorp7]

hehe, thanks Drew, it's cool to know the choir agrees with me Bringing my kids home feels like the RIGHT thing to do. I still have that old quote tumbling around my head though, "do you want to be right or do you want to be married?".

I do seem to be missing the point that being a husband and being a father are two separate things. Doing the right thing as a father would be to bring my kids back home. It may not win me any brownie points as a husband, that's a different matter though.

My fear (yes, still dealing with that) with bringing the kids home right now was that it might derail any chance of my W agreeing to 50/50. Who really knows if it would or not?

[Scorp7]

Here's another question, if the kids are coming home, do I tell my W about it before hand or just do it and tell her after the fact?

I think the proper thing to do would be to tell her before hand.

[unbidden]

I think she should know where her kids are going. That's the right thing to do, to tell her.

[Scorp7]

I agree unbidden. When the kids have come home the previous two times my W made a major issue about it. The concern I have is that she may refuse to let the kids see me unless I agree to her terms. Not something she has the right to do but if I tell her before I pick the kids up then it's a real possibility.

[Scorp7]

The other way to look at it is my W definitely doesn't tell me before hand what she is planning with our kids. She just had immunizations done with our D6 and informed me that is what she was doing, she didn't ask if I agreed. She DID tell me before she did it though.

Another example if our D6 just had a sleep over for the very first time away from either my W or I. My W didn't tell me about this at all, I heard about it from my D6 the day before it happened.

[Drew]

If she refuses to let you see your kids, call the cops and your lawyer immediately.

[Upwards]

I'd tell her beforehand, I'd imagine if she finds out you haven't told her where they'll be staying there will be a bigger risk of her being upset & threatening your contact? Don't live your life in fear of what she might do, do what you feel is right and that is to tell her beforehand.

It must be so tough knowing she could just stop you seeing them - it's interesting hearing how different the laws are there & how the courts favour 50/50 care, very different here

[Drew]

As Mach said, you want 50/50, but she is making 100% of the decisions for your children.