Take Two ...

[Train]

Thanks, hs. I know you are exactly right.

I swear, the battle between heart and head is REAL! Hahaha.

And, yes, on the ML. No doubt. I have set a boundary with myself that it will. not. happen. while he's still communicating with her. It wouldn't happen until or unless I'm convinced he's genuinely remorseful. H and I have, indeed, always had a great sex life ... when we make time. And that certainly makes resisting HARD. Fortunately for me, he's not trying right now. I might have to go for a quick run ... or take a cold shower or something ... if that changes.

But the truth is: I'm kind of having fun viewing MYSELF as the "OW" right now. (Funny how the tables turn, eh?) So, being able to doll up and be a little flirty, and watching his eyes and his sexual tension grow (even if only a little right now), then telling him "bye," is actually kind of invigorating and fun. (Sad what constitutes as "fun" these days - ha.) Shameful of me, maybe. But that's a little bit of an "unfair advantage" that women have in these sitches; might as well use it. Besides, it's making me feel better. And that's all that matters right now.

And as for those darned teenagers: with two daughters, 16 and 17, I have some REAL experience with that relationship-rebellion, especially with my poor D16. Just last summer, I gave her all the words of wisdom I had about a guy she wanted to date. She broke up with her long-time BF for the new guy. I warned her about that being shaky ground, but I told her I wouldn't stand in her way. She made the choice to take the plunge. And she paid the price. Thankfully, it didn't take long.

So you're right: Sounds about the same as with H. Hopefully it won't take long for his fog to lift, either, so we can at least constructively talk about our R and the breakdown of our M. I'd *at least* like some closure on that. And there are things I know I should probably apologize for and improve about myself as a partner, whether that's with HIM ... or someone else ... eventually.

That is, if I don't swear off romantic love forever.