Now What???

[RealityTrip]

Are you comfortable with the direction W is heading in regard to hearing your pain? Do you sense that she is starting to understand it?

I am comfortable. Sometimes I have to step outside myself and realize just how different hings are than they were the year before she left. Expectations of speed and perfection get in the way but I really think my W is trying. And the affection is soooo different. But back to it... I sense that she is very aware that it is there and knows she needs to confront it with me, but she is still not ready to "hear" yet. We talked briefly about going to MC soon. She addressed not wearing her wedding ring and said she thought of putting it back on as more symbolic after MC and a re-commitment. She knows why I wear mine. We are ok with each other's choice.

Did that help you two connect at the intimate, emotional level? Was there a shift at all afterward?

It did help us reconnect and I've felt a shift in both of us since then. We talked about it the very next day... flirtatiously. So things are ok, but I still think they will go slowly because of me... I dealt with some mind movies during. I didn't tell her. I don't think I am going to. I don't want to lump another guilt brick on her right now. I handled it in the moment and got past it back to her.

Hiya Spin! Thanks for being in my corner! Yes... the islands... Oh to chuck it all and live there!

Today... I am not feeling well. Allergies. I went home early for lunch. W made me a small lunch and covered me with a blanket to nap. She texted me a few hours after I got back to work to see how I was feeling. Then texted again to offer to go run my errands for me after work and just let me come home.

These are loving things... Little things. I missed them for so long, it's easy to forget to focus on them now while I'm trying to piece... but that is exactly what I have to do. Appreciate her in the now. We'll get to the bigger stuff when she is stronger.