THANK YOU - to all of you for your comments and advice. I certainly have a lot of reading and soul searching to do. I know I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of changing to do. I realize now that I need to put the affair in the past and move on. I know there are many things I need to do differently to try to recapture something in my marriage. I will reread each of your messages several times - but I just wanted to say thank you. My affair was a complete accident, not something I ever expected to happen and not something I sought out - and it was brief, not a long ongoing sordid seedy motel affair. It was enough to throw my life completely upside down and spin me around - I do realize the complete fantasy aspects of what happened, but I truly believe I needed this to make me realize that I am worth something. That is really how far down in a hole I've been. I think the OM at least made me start to see some light - and that I have to do SOMETHING about this marriage that has completely disintegrated or I will waste away. And I am glad to know that there are people on here I can come to for advice.
