I sent my response to her questions on the 19th, she responded on the 20th saying she needed time to think about 50/50. I thanked her for her reply on the 21st and told her I'd be picking the kids up this Friday.
If I have not heard back from her by the 31st she will have loads of time to think about 50/50. If I give her until the end of next week to respond she will have had more than two full weeks to make up her mind which should be more than enough.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
Drew, I do get your point and you're right, sticking up for myself as well as setting my boundaries are for sure good things to do, telling her what to do is not cool.
I do think I've set a pretty big boundary in saying that I will not discuss any financial matters with her until we have a 50/50 parenting arrangement agreed to and in place.
She wants money asap and she knows she will not get any until she agrees on 50/50. I want to reach that agreement without lawyers so giving her time is ok with me, for now.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
Scorp, 12 days sounds fair. At that time, make sure you politely give her a deadline. "W, it's been nearly two weeks, what conclusion have you come to?" If she responds, awesome, if not, "W, I'd like to know by Friday/Monday/whatever-day" giving her ample time to get her chit together if she hasn't already and removing any potential for "but I didn't know". You're continuing to give her time and space but your lawyer is ready to go Saturday/Tuesday/whatever-day-plus-1.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
I sent my response to her questions on the 19th, she responded on the 20th saying she needed time to think about 50/50. I thanked her for her reply on the 21st and told her I'd be picking the kids up this Friday.
Be prepared for the possibility that W may corral you into 'discussing' the 50/50 this Friday when you pick up the kiddos. Whatcha gonna do then? You don't want to look silly and flub your lines in front of W.
Barry, agreed. It's a big decision for her and would be a major detour from what she's been saying previously about time with our kids. I understand she needs time.
Wonka, I would LOVE it if my W would try to coral me to talk about 50/50 this Friday. Unfortunately, she still won't see me or talk to me directly. My MIL brings the kids to a neutral location so I don't see my W at all.
Here's a new wrinkle, all of the hotels in my W's town are booked up already. The only rooms available have one bed, not big enough for myself and three kids. I'm thinking it makes more sense to just bring them home and my D6 misses a day of school.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
A six year old can miss a day if school. It's not like she's gonna miss a calculus test. And it's really Ws fault since she's moved them so far away and made visitation cumbersome.
