I've thought of a lot of things I'd like to do (take my kids back to my province, take my car back from my W, tell my in-laws in no uncertain terms that they are not involved in our situation and do not have a say in how our children are raised etc etc). None of them have anything to do with being strong. They would make me feel better but wouldn't do anything to improve the situation with my family.
If I took my kids back home with me it would only serve to have them torn between my W and I as she would immediately get a court order and have them returned to her province. I should have done that when she took them, I didn't. I was doing what I thought I needed to save my M at the time. I was a big time controlling a** in our marriage so the last thing I wanted to do at the time was to come off as still being a controlling jerk. Gotta love hindsight.
Don't let your past, define your future...
Originally Posted By: Scorp7
I gotta say though, do you guys really believe that if I just TELL my W to do what I want she will listen just because I'm being a "strong" man?
Isn't this exactly what she did to you ???
Doesn't make it right or wrong, it just is, what it is...
However....
She is like a playground bully with you...
She doesn't "own" the kids, she is only 50% of the creation/equation with them....
You have to find YOUR balance with this, and I am not too sure that being passive is working....
Your words say that you want 50/50, your actions are saying that you want zero....because you are allowing your spouse to make 100% of the decisions regarding YOUR children....
Stand up and state what you want...
Cause just like the playground bully...
Once you stand up to them, they typically back off a bit...
