Tough question, I know i found out about W's affair when i log onto computer and her messaging came up and he was wanting to talk to her. I would think that is you are serious and absolutely sure affair is over, you have to ask yourself this question and be honest?
How is my telling heim going to benefit the situation, myself or him. I personally think you should not, but defitiely don't do anything else if you are serious about saving your M. Follow the two books if you have read them DB and DR. If not read them immediately. I think it would devistate him. I also think it would make recovery time a lot longer. Please read the books before you do anything, they are extremely helpful. This is just my opinion, but I have went through finding out and to be honest it hurts like hell and it also drives you crazy wondering about it. My advice is focus on marriage and do not tell him.
