My H admitted that this is not sustainable in real life. He acknowledged that at some point something was going to break...his business/OW or me.
My H makes it seem like his business would fall apart without OW. It is not true at all and simply an excuse because he wants to keep his R with OW without admitting it to my face. While the OW did help establish their current business, it was my H that did everything (at least 90%).
Originally Posted By: melissag
What do you think needs to happen for H to feel motivated to figure out his sh!t?
M, Blues, Bug - You all posed this question to me. After things cooled down and we were no longer hostile, I thought that maybe my H (and myself) just needed to feel an connection after a year or two of only negative things. We both have felt a strong connection several times over the past few months. We get along, joke, flirt. We have ML several times and the passion is definitely there. I think that it has clearly helped, but it is not enough and he is still sitting on the fence.
Right after college, my H broke up with me. The break only lasted five or six months. My H wanted to date other women, hang out with this single friends and see what was out there before settling down. My H clearly did not think about the fact that I would date other guys. As soon as he found out, he flipped. H went from not talking to me at all (and being a huge jerk) to pursing me. I was the one that told him no when he asked to get back together. We finally got back together when I was sure that it was real and not jealousy.
So maybe my H needs to see that I have moved on. I don't think that I am ready to date yet but I have thought about it.
Now, the question is how do I move on? I think that I need to limit our discussions to those involving kids/financials. I am pretty good at limiting the discussions when I am not with H. Sometimes I blab too much when we are together on family day because I hate awkward silence. So I guess that I will have to get used to the silence and our just discuss the kids.
I need to focus my energy on setting up a new life with the kids... finally meet with an attorney, create budget to determine whether we can stay or our house or not. And focus on GAL.
Originally Posted By: melissag
BTW, 3 and upwards, you should come over to FB. The group is secret but we can find you if you have an account with your screen name with db on the end.
I tried to figure this out this today but am not sure how to create an account with my screen name. Where do you enter the screen name? I tried to put it as my name (first/last) or as an alternative name. I am clearly doing something wrong.
