I've been following your thread because it seems so similar to mine, and we seem to be having the same questions at about the same times.
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I've been doing my GAL, and 180s, and they have been noticed. My WAW said something about now living with 100 ironies because I am so different.
I'm in the same place here - WAW says she sees suddenly I've become an interested parent - wonders where I was for the last 10 years, and she thinks it's all fake.
I think all we can do is keep going. Maybe they will eventually accept that it is real and not fake. That may not affect outcome of M, but it never hurts to be a better man.
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I've gotten advice from a L, who told me to maintain finances the way they are. However, I feel this really contradicts with LRT.
I did the same last week, and got the same advice. Being a harda$$ will soothe your ego, but it will be bad in D proceedings if you get there.
I don't know that it contradicts LRT - in my case, I think it makes her life entirely comfortable without me, and she can cake eat all she wants. I feel I want her to feel consequences for A, but that has to happen in a way that isn't me punishing her, it's got to be the consequences of her actions. I am still confused on this.
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Any harm in meeting women for coffee etc. Just as part of getting out. I understand I'm not in an emotional state to offer anything, but I just want to go out and feel good about myself.
Yes, you are right, you know the answer. Slippery slope, my friend. What I did was join a wine/dinner club. There are singles, solos, and couples. I enjoy it immensely. You will meet other people, women included, but it is in a safer environment. To stay honest, I imagine bringing my wife with me some day, if we get to that point. That helps me keep any relationships with the individuals in that group in bounds.
In my case, anyway, I know my WAW is still convinced that we are dysfunctional and cannot fix things. She has no interest in doing any MC together. She is working on herself and discovering bad behaviors that predate me in her life, but I am still to blame. She is fixing herself for her future without me. I have to give W time to get to a better place with herself; it can only help.
Meanwhile, I am becoming a better parent. I need time to perfect this.
I am becoming a more supportive H. It seems to be working. She sees it but doesn't believe it. This needs consistency over time.
I'm GALing and building my future support group. That needs time.
So, my advice is to use the time wisely. Is there a need to rush to an undesired outcome?
I'm not rushing there until I know that time is no longer helping.
Figure out for yourself how the time is helping your situation, and apply yourself to those areas.
