I don't have a lawyer and don't want to lie to her.
You need to get a lawyer ASAP, ye. Your wife left you, told you her clear intention to file for divorce, and began tying it to your immigration status more than TWO MONTHS ago. Yet you haven't even hired an attorney?
I know you say you don't have the money, but there are public (free) attorneys that you can see, both regarding immigration issues and also divorce issues. Did you ever look into that?
You are now more than 2 months into a battle against an adversary who is both armed and armored, and you are neither. Instead, you are focused on your feelings, and trying to stick your head in the sand regarding your wife's intentions. PLEASE seek legal counsel TODAY. It doesn't mean that YOU have to initiate anything, but you DO need to know what your rights, responsibilities, opportunities and potential threats are!
If you haven't seen an attorney, how are you sure when you say "they cannot deport me if she divorces me" ? Who advised you of that? Please protect yourself.
