Upwards - DB myself to happiness!

[Upwards]

Well I didn't contact last night even though I was struggling, go me! Its been 6 days today and I'm really proud of myself, the only contact we've had has been via email except a short meeting last Friday. Woke up lots through the night having dreams/nightmares about him so not feeling at my best today, yuck!

I'm struggling because I want to know how he's finding it without me around, the only time we've ever had this much NC in the past 12yrs is when he was in rehab so its a big thing for both of us - he's contacted me lots and been ignored so he's clearly trying to break me & hoping i'll back down on the NC like I have in the past.

I need to stay busy today as I'm not feeling great & so i'm most likely to contact - need to remember that I wont get what I want/need from the contact.