Gogo, I like the anaology that the reason doesn't matter as long as we give. I like it because it makes me feel better to think that way but I don't think I believe it. I remember a time when my W and I rarely ML a few years back. This frustrated me so I would mention it and though she didn't like hearing this she would react and things would get better...for a while. The more times I brought it up to make things better for a bit the less I wanted to. Because it started to feel like it was only being addressed because I complained. When this happens in relationships the person having to constantly remind the other doesn't feel confident in their importance. They start to feel that they are being appeased so they will stop nagging. I'm not saying this makes her right and you wrong. But I think we can all relate to this one way or the other. I'm sure across time, your gifts made her feel important and loved. But doubt has a way of creeping into the heart when loving actions don't come on their own.
I don't think either that you should feel bad about this. You are probably right that it stems from an experience of this past, most do. But isn't that part of her journey to figure out?
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
