Unicorns, Big Foot, and the WAS...

[KGirl]

I have similar conversations with my IC, too. It makes sense - their job is to point out the discrepancy between what we want and reality and try to get us to move towards something. I don't think that being in "limbo" is exactly what is encouraged in IC! And, counseling theory talks a lot about how there won't be change if someone doesn't think there's a need/refuses to do it. That fits with some aspects of DB (like how we always talk about how we can only control or change ourselves and to leave the S be) but it doesn't mesh as well with the idea that it's possible to change the relationship or make it work with only one person changing. I am stuck as well wondering what's happening but my H refuses to give me any updates as to where he's at, so I am also trying to figure out how I will know when enough is enough. I guess if I have to ask myself, I'm not there? But I could also see myself clinging to the idea indefinitely that I'd get back with H if he told me tomorrow he wanted to work on it.. so I don't know if asking myself what my response would be to that question ("If your H told you tomorrow he wanted to R, would you entertain the idea still?") is a good barometer.