Gifts - DB v 5LL

[gogofo]

You are wrong, but all I did was write about the gift issue and didn't say anything nice about her. She has an uncanny ability to recognize and connect with people and their emotions. She works at a community college and knows everyone's names and kids names, etc from the president down to the janitors. Students that she does not even teach will seek her out for help because she really does care about them. She may be a lot of things, but no one would ever call her a princess.

These issues did come up and got better over time, but Christmas comes every year and forced us to have the same conversation. Her mom used to go all out early in our R, it was the only time when the MIL was growing up that her parents got along.

I think that her reluctance to see actions as genuine stem from growing up and seeing her father only take her mom serious when their relationship got bad. Her parents love each other, but get into fights and silent treatment standoffs about once a year. Her mom even got an apartment at one time when they were growing up and her father said that "she will come back, she will run out of money."

As much as she is willing to admit it or not, this effected her and her views on relationships. She was judging me at these times by basing me on what she knows from her parents relationship. Not her fault and I knew this before we got married, but my actions and motivations are not her fathers.

She is correct in that what I was doing was in reaction to her bringing it up. Her holding a score card is where I don't think her actions are correct. Whether she asks to cuddle or I cuddle with her on my own, the love and feelings behind it are the same.

It will be something she will have to work through. I brought this up early in our separation. Whether she has addressed or thought about it or not, who knows. She was more concerned about the emotional origins, for lack of a better term, of the gift than the gift itself.