Hello again everyone, especially those who have been reading my posts and helping me. I thank you. I just read chapter 6 in DB book again. It says you might have to adapt or modify the techniques slightly to fit your marriage. This past weekend W and I showed some respect for each other and things seemed much better in my view - want to emphasise in "my view". Although W expressed her wishes to still divorce and that she does not love me, I felt that maybe the way we behaved towards one another may have her bring down her boundaries a tiny bit and get a little personal which she seemed to indicate is a no - no when you file. I am however wondering if I am reading to much into it. As Sandi said "You do not have a healthy M, but at times you seem to forget that fact and seem to expect her to just wake up one day and everything resume to normal." I'm not looking at everything to resume to normal but could this be baby steps. Feel the water so to speak and see how she reacts. I think if she slowly brings down her boundaries we may be able to connect on a more real/genuine level. Ive been listening more and talking much less, changing my style and shes noticing because she asked if I was ok and I said yeah why and she said because you used to never shut up ..lol. We are meeting after work at a political function ...i was thinking to ask if she wants to go out afterwards for a coffee/cocktail. If she says yes I suppose that's good ...if she says no well then I guess she will look at it as me pursuing and a big turnoff ...probably i'm D this guy and why is he not quitting smirk But is it worth taking this approach if she is in an A? I'm not sure what to do.

Confused,
tbm

Me: 47
Her: 45
M 18 years
T 22 years
S-6 D-9
Separate rooms 1/5/14
Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14