Great advice from Ellie. Don't believe anything he says. Seriously, they lie. Don't even get caught up in the lies.
The statement that you abandoned him the past 10 years could be projection since he obviously is checking out. My h said I wasn't committed to the marriage (11 years and 3 kids) and said this as he was moving out. Mmmmm. Sounds like a bit of an oxymoron, huh? I notice you said he is more secretive as well. Very common and more projection with him saying he doesn't trust you. I doubt he trusts himself. The paranoia is common as well. That's his deal.
I would definitely not expose the OW at work. OW is a band aid. His ego is getting a boost. Again, that's him not you. I agree with Ellie. ALWAYS (and it can be difficult) take the high road. You want to be able to put your head on the pillow each night and say I gave today my best. I also truly believe in karma. Be the best you can be.
Detach and focus on you and your kids. It's always smart to get legal advice to take care of your family.
Hang in there!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
