Gifts - DB v 5LL

[labug]

I was drawn this post because of the title. I don't know your whole situation, so take this with a grain of salt.

You quoted Chapman

"temptation is to give up, to stop speaking [the] love language (of their spouse) because it is not making any difference".

and then wrote this:

In the beginning of my relationship I used to buy flowers randomly for my wife ...I stopped doing these things prior to each of our breakdowns and I've only just put two and two together that I stopped filling her tank.

Literally speaking, Chapman didn't say "start doing them a gain when things go south and that will make it all better" he said to continue to do them. I can't speak for Mt Chapman but that's my interpretation.

While I'm mind-reading, might your wife already see your previous gift-giving as manipulation as you did it until you got what you wanted and then stopped and then restarted to get back together and stopped again? Something to think about.

I would hold back on the gift-giving, it could be the worst thing for your R based on your history and your W's reaction with the last gift.