Can you talk to your brother? I'm really glad you are getting away from her a few days. I hope she will not contact you, but I think she wil, b/c your are her life jacket at the moment.
Does your family know about the pregnancy? Does her family know?
No, her family doesn't know and she doesn't want to tell them for a month or so. The only reason she told me was with her staying at the house during the day watching the kids there hasn't been any evidence of.... well you know. I calmly brought this up to her and stated that before we get divorced I need to know if she's pregnant or not (at the very least for legal reasons). She knew that and that's why she told me. She made me promise not to tell anyone and I will respect that for now. I would rather her tell everybody anyway.
I did tell her I would talk to my pastor about it and I did, which she was fine with. Mostly just because she is reconsidering getting back together. If she wasn't reconsidering then I doubt I would bother telling anyone and just getting the divorce done.
I suppose I could talk to my brother about it. He's across the country so he's not around the day to day. But I don't really want to make him hold on to a secret like that. I also don't want to lie to her or break a promise. I know she has done that to me countless times, but it doesn't make it right for me to do the same back. So I probably won't.
And yes I do feel like she's using me as a sort of guidance counselor right now. I'm flying tuesday when she has her appointment to see if the baby has a heart beat. I would like to know if that is true, but should I just ignore her and talk to her when I get back. She says this pregnancy feels different than our two kids and feels like the first miscarriage she had with me before our first kid, but I'm guessing that's because she's super stressed out and is hoping it's not true.
She also keeps telling me that she's going to be super mad if the OM doesn't show up. I'm like what are you gonna do? He's already dumped you. That's another part I struggle with. When she talks about all the problems with the OM, should I tell her to stop telling me, or should I just let her talk and not respond? I'm definitely not going to be giving her advice on her relationship with OM.
I have this sneaking suspicion that the reason OM dumped her was he didn't want to provide child support for the next 18 years and he figured that she would go back to me and I would support the kid. My W has also told me that OM feels threatened by me that W will always want to go back to me. So who knows, maybe he's testing her and I'm just a pawn.
I understand that I should proably go into not caring mode and just worry about myself, but I believe that was one of the reasons we ended up this way. I was always so easy going and didn't care what she did that I think she took it that I didn't care about her. So a personal 180 for me would be to care about her life right?
