Yes, with H it was "I just don't have THOSE feelings for you anymore". Then it was "All you did was yell" and "We have nothing in common". All excuses. But it doesn't really matter. What has been done cannot be undone. There are two sides to every story. Now he just tells mutual friends that still talk to me that he is hurt because they believe "my lies".
H is a classic narcissist. Gaslighting, projection, switch and blame...he learned these tricks eons ago. I am dealing with a pro. He tells S they will have a discussion, but there is no discussion with H. Either he will avoid the topic completely or else tell S a bunch of lies and preach excuses to him rather than discuss. That's how our "discussions" used to go.
I did have S in counseling, but his counselor was being treated for cancer and she is no longer working. I was hoping she would come back, but I don't know if she is or will. Otherwise S has to start over with someone new and I don't know if he is open to that. In the interim, I contacted his soccer coach and asked if he would mind talking to S as a neutral third party. S needs a good male role model to look up to.
I wish I knew what else to do.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
