You didn't answer my question as to whether or not you waited 9 years until your A broke up that you apologized to your first W. It's important because if it took you that long to apologize to her, what makes you think that your current W will be back any faster?
Right now all the self-righteous behavior isn't going to help much. Neither is all the concentrating on the A itself. Again, you've only been "right with God" for a few weeks. Hardly what most would consider as life-changing.
" I did read when an A is found out it causes it to no longer be a secreat and tends to make it fizzle."
It didn't in your case with your first W. And in fact you probably treated your XW worse when it was outed or you really didn't care about her feelings and just carried on.
What I find interesting in your case is that you were in your current wife's shoes, yet you expect her to act differently. It wasn't that you lost your "faith" along the way of your relationship, it was that you took the relationship for granted and drank. Period. Changes take time and patience. To be honest, these were traits that weren't exactly prevalent in your past. Are you really willing to stick it out for the long haul even if your current W treats you the way you treated your first W? Be honest here.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
