I think I belong here....

[praying_in_GA]

So, I blew it today.

H mentioned his phone reception again today. (our house is in a black hole for our company, we have hit or miss reception) I told him I was thinking of getting a signal extender so that would take care of it. Or, I have a friend with a different phone (he wants to try an iPhone) that he could try out. He said "I talked to my brother. He said if I join his plan he will save $20 a month." I asked him wasn't his brother with our phone company as well? He said yea, but he will get a new phone out of it. I told him his contract is up in July and I have the iPhone. He kinda shrugged and said "Yea, but it will save K money."

I felt my face getting hot and know I should have walked away but I didn't...I opened my big a** mouth. I said: You know what, go to whatever plan you want to. It's your phone and your life. I know you are trying to separate everything with us right now and this is just one more thing. Just do me a favor and stop throwing daggers. First the ring and now the phone. I get it! I know where we stand. I don't need you to continue to throw it at me all the time. Just stop with the damn daggers.

He said he didn't mean to hurt me, he is just trying to save me and K some money. I can downgrade my bill and he gets a group discount.

I went to leave for work and told the kids bye. When I told him bye he said bye back with this sad sound to his voice.

I didn't mean to let the anger out. I am just so tired of it. We have had perfectly great days. We get along. We play around. We do intimate things. We laugh and watch movies together. We even made plans to take the kids to the beach this summer. Then it all slams back home with the darn cell phone.

We were supposed to do dinner and a movie with the kids tomorrow. They opened the movie and watched it tonight. H says he didn't know they had opened it, they were watching it in the bedroom. I told him it hurt my feelings because I specifically told D8 that we would watch it tomorrow. He told me it's only a bad day if I let it be a bad day. I ended up hanging up in a not so pleasant way.

Gah! What is wrong with me?! I am letting my emotions take over and I should be in control. I have been doing SO WELL with my 180s and my positivity at home.