hey Melissa... so I'm not afraid to talk to my therapist about forgiveness. I think she would agree that forgiveness is beneficial for both physical and emotional health. What I'm nervous to talk to her about is lingering hope to someday reconcile with H. I know that could never happen until he does the same kind of work I'm doing and substance abuse treatment would be necessary.

However I don't want to be alone forever. I want companionship and love and sex and my first choice would be with the father of my child. I know that might not happen, it might not be him but I'm not closing that door.

I feel my therapist would frown upon me saying that. She asked last session could I ever want to be with someone who would say this or could I ever consider being with someone who would say that. I was embarrassed to say yes- if he did the work and that I don't necessarily think he is a man in his right mind talking. So maybe I need to talk to her about that before it really damages the therapy relationship I've never been to therapy before so I don't know if there's a line she crossed being too much on my side and not being unbiased.

On the other hand, are there some things you just can't come back from?

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15