She left - 2

[gogofo]

Today was a little rough emotionally for me. Woke up tired and the kids went back with W at noon. Off and on I was getting waves of emotion. Our oldest son told me goodbye and I will miss you daddy. This is the first time he has done this out of the blue, broke my heart. I think the W heard it too because she went silent for a couple of seconds after he said it.

W asked if I was going to come over Thursday for dinner which will be great. It gives me another opportunity to show who I am and who she walked away from. We are going to have to talk about what kindergarten the oldest is going to attend because both houses have different schools. This will be interesting because I have to work early so I can't do the drop off or bus thing every day, the W has to take care of that. The bus stop is in front of her house, which is easy, but two days a week I will have to pick them up. Logistically there is no clear winner. This will have to be a big 180 talk for me as I need to emphasize how much I understand her POV.

I know she wants the kids to go in her area as the school is a little better and in her mind she has planned to still be separated. The only future talk she has is concerning separate houses.

Another 180 will be when they go swimming all weekend. When we talked she expressed feeling trapped and controlled. I could not go and do things and she felt that I prevented her and the kids from going alone. In retrospect I am sure she felt this way, but I wanted to go with them during those times and felt terrible I couldn't but I can't express that to her.

Should I show support and recognize that it will be a fun weekend? I feel like I should, but know that I cannot always trust my feelings right now. I would think if she felt trapped, me encouraging and showing support would be the 180 to the old me. Should I offer to gather their swim stuff? I have trouble with exactly how much support to show or offer.

I wish that she would have extended an invitation, I would love to go, but I also know I should not ask as this would be pursuing.

With a WAS the LBS has to wait until they express interest in them, is this correct?

If so I need to keep telling myself that she is not waiting for me to ask her out or express interest in attending events with her. I doubt she is waiting for me to ask her if I can come swimming.

When she talked about her thoughts of D and waiting for me to like her again it blew my mind. It has given me an irrational worry that she is waiting for me to pursue, but this can't be correct.