Wow, this is a tougher one than normal, and that's saying something. First, I agree with Sandi's comments. Dig into those.
Initially I was going to suggest some distance....some time focused on you, what went wrong in the M, and things you can improve. After the bomb....well, I still think that's the place to start. Her craziness is not your problem at the moment. You don't need to solve it for her....at least not yet.
So what are the things you want to work on? What are the things your W complained about in the M? What are the things you're not happy about in your role in the M?
Take this slow and work through the issues. Clearly, she's looking to you to be the "good guy" she think she is. But do what is right for you. Reconciliation may or may not be best for you....take the time to figure it out.
