I posted as a way to try and get some of these feelings out of my system, and figured here was as good a place as any. Friend I left behind when I moved have a better idea of what I went through but figure by moving away I have moved on - so I don't want to talk though these feelings with them. Friends and family here have very little idea of what I went/going through so I don't want to involve them. I used to dump these episodes at the councellor, but I had to stop those sessions when I moved.
It helps to be reminded that there are others who understand what it feels like.
I guess I feel that after 18 months it should be better, some days it is and the good days outweigh the bad. But for some reason that rollercoaster is up and running again.
