my wife left, but still lives with me #3/continued

[tough spot]

This Thursday my wife will be going to a lawyer. I assume to put him on retainer, to start our divorce case. Time is running out and the sense of dread mounts.

I can't quite believe that this is happening. To say it makes me feel awful would be a vast understatment. Loss, fear, sadness, anger, resentment, all rolled into one big ball of uncertainty and remorse.

I struggle to accept that this is the direction my life is going. Me, me, me, me, me. I had the gift of time and tried quite a few things. Most likely I could have done better, I am sure of it actually. Perhaps like above it was too much about me and not enough about her. Sorry for the self pity party venting......