To Starsky - re. transparency and boundaries

[BrightFuture]

Starsky, thanks for responding. I’m sorry of I misreading something here. Maybe I’m just not understanding the point. I didn’t have to deal with infidelity yet. There was an attempt of my H to connect with the young girl, but it didn’t go anywhere and he was not “in love” with her at all, just thought that he could get these feelings later. He figured she would be a perfect partner for him to suite his lifestyle. I also don’t have small children who would be affected by the sitch. I’m sure my son hurt some, but he is a grown up adult and has his own life.

So, let me understand this, you are saying that it is impossible to reconcile if you don’t set the boundaries early on? Or, is it that without the boundaries you would have more emotional damage? I guess, I’m just not in a situation like that. So far I didn’t have to set any boundaries, and this is what I get confused about. I brought the doormat subject a couple of times before in my sitch. I was questioning if I became a doormat by allowing H to take advantage of certain things. Then I realized that my sitch was different. In a sense it almost seems harder for me, because I have nothing to set a hard line against right now.