Thanks, GM -- at this juncture I am willing to try almost anything. I can't stand to see him break down like that again and again and again.
So I have a general question for everyone - if both parties haven't really addressed their respective "things", can that bleed over into a co-parenting relationship? As time progresses onward, I am starting to see some of the same communication and understanding issues materialize in our co-parenting space.
Why do I ask?
Without going into depth as to why, XW said she would like to go back to my IC together to talk about co-parenting and she brought it up again last week. She said she was "open" to it. Given how everything has been, I think it would be helpful to have a dialogue on this with a C. The thing is, I have a very strong feeling that any talk about this topic with a C is going to be a little bit deeper than "be-a-team-with-him" and really look at how we relate to one another. Not sure how that level of analysis will sit with XW.....but really, what's to lose?
There are moments where I think the not knowing each other anymore, paired with old feelings and resentment really get in the way of dealing with our S. For example, if I have a strong thought or feeling about something that I think he should or should not do and I stand by that feeling the narrative from XW becomes (once again) "See? Everthing has to be your way....I don't have a voice....my opinion is never listened to." The grand irony in that is that by approaching someone with that line is basically telling them that THEIR opinion doesn't matter and THEY don't have a voice when there is an opposing view or desire.
To this day I still can't see through her eyes what is so deplorable about me and/or our family that makes being single and having your baby part time a more viable/desirable option. I hate being without my boy and I can't think of too many things that I wouldn't do or work on in myself or my life to make my way back to him full time. Looking back on it, she wanted a family so badly (remember - 3 years of infertility and treatments) I can't see how this makes much sense. I know not to take too much of it on - but at moments I think to myself that I have GOT to be horrible for this to be a better choice.
