I think I am so desperately wanting to see positives that I am inventing them. Last week I, after my IC session I thought I was doing well. This is happening, I don't know or understand why and may never. This is not all down to my issues or something I have/haven't done. I wS even coming to terms with the lies and dishonesty - I had stopped thinking who is he with/what is he doing/where is he? Why is he lying? I was even able to admit to a friend, the reason I am coping with the kids alone so well, is that I was doing it all myself before he left anyway.
I was able to say 'I don't get any of this. But I'm ok. I will rock being a single mum. My kids will be ok, they are awesome.'
I still had done fears and sad times, but I was doing good. And now I feel like he is here, and I'm going backwards, analysing everything for a meaning, is that a good sign or bad sign?
I'm going to drive myself crazy!! I am trying so hard to 'act as if', but I wonder dies he just see through it! I haven't been able to really GAL this weekend, I've had a quiet one in with my kids, they actually asked to stay home today!
