Barrybran IV - Three Years Forward, 30 Years Back

[Barrybran]

Boy oh boy my wife is confusing. She works long hours, she goes to the gym after work 2-3 times per week and she never gets home before dinner. She's exhausted when she gets home. I usually get home at the same time as my son gets home from school so I take on the housework. Laundry, dishes and general tidying up. Yesterday I had a morning to myself so I swept and mopped floors as well. I feel good about my contribution to the house and it takes a load off my wife.

She asks me this morning if there's anything I haven't done. It turns out she planned to do housework today and she isn't happy I've done it all. I'm sure most women would kill for help around the house and I'm helping too much. She brought this up a few weeks ago too proposing a roster for chores but it never eventuated so I kept doing what I was doing.

I get that my wife's feelings are important. She feels her role is to work and pay bills at the moment. I understand her feelings. She doesn't have a single clue what she wants to do about it though. I was raised to get in, get it done and get out so leaving the housework for my wife seems ludicrous at this point but I have to leave something for her.

Has anyone had a similar problem before? Does anyone have any thoughts about how I approach this problem? My wife is very hostile with me lately so talking isn't very effective. I don't think leaving the housework for her and picking up the slack, whilst it would be a 180, would work for me either.